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I think I kinda screwed up today's morning mass...

Okay, I did.

It was my first time playing the guitar for CJ's morning mass. Played 'canticle of the sun', 'the summons', 'alleluia', and 'be not afraid'. Well i guess I was afraid after all, a little. We had mass in the chapel, which was quite a small room. I was like a nervous wreck there... The presence of my teachers and Principal didn't affect me that much, but it was as if God was literally watching me.

Mr Rajoo told me that he screwed up the first time he played too. Hmm... Guess that was a little comforting to know though. Hmm.. But I was still a little disappointed with myself for not playing well, for God.

It felt as if it were a Friday. The morning began with Bio SPA once again, but this time, it was a Monday. If only it could be another Friday... :/ I tried to stay awake and fight the lethargy, but I relented eventually. It didn't feel like how it should have felt. You know when you're tired you'd begin to nod, nod, nod? Yeah but my mind simply shut down as every sound faded away.

PE followed the double period Bio. Headaches started to kick in after that, I asked to be excused from PE. Really, if I could go for PE, I would have. But after jogging for one round, I felt my head pounding already. Sigh. I don't know what's happening exactly, cos I never felt so tired easily before. Apparently my health's dipping to the lows lately...

I really feel full to the brim, not in the stomach but in the mind. Yet, in the dome of feelings, it feels empty. Like there's not really much motivation..

I went to SAFRA for walk-in training today as well. Reached there at 6.50pm to ensure myself of a lane. Today's shots weren't fantastic, neither were they good.. It dropped quite a bit. Think it's the boots, too tight. I really need to get back on track, and 'get out of this rut'. If I do, I will become better than I was.

Went back to my grandparent's place at around 10.20pm... My eyelids are heavy, eyes feel a little sore and swollen.

Sigh..

Tomorrow's going to start off with a Math test on a topic I don't have much clue on. I need to settle the interview too. It must be smooth and close to perfect if not perfect.

Yesterday, as I was packing my bag and sorting my worksheets, a friend of mine replied my sms earlier, saying that we are on the same boat and stuff. Cos I said that JC life really restricts us from making good friends whom you can connect with constantly. Work comes in between and communication seems rather difficult.


Sure, times have changed, and sending letters are out of the norm because that would take up too much time. In the past, the barrier for communication was the physical distance. Presently, the busier schedules of life have taken up that role as the barrier.

Well, I was rather comforted when my friend sent me that message. It showed me that there was someone going through the same thing with me, staying up to complete homework and revise for tests.

I guess friends like these keep me sane, especially during times when I feel full and empty.

Thank you God.



There's nothing like having someone with you, fighting for one cause...