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Thursday, May 31, 2012



Phone Call



http://www.call2phone.com/images/phone-call.jpg

She just called me.

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It seemed as if there was nothing left to talk about.

As all there was to ask was just a few questions.

Isn't there more to say than just "How are you?", "I am okay.", and "Have you eaten?"? This really has to change. Where has my wit and flair gone to in times like these? 

---------------------------------------------------

For the past week and a half after my surgery, I had been staying at my grandparents' house.

Being there, I managed to see what things have been happening day to day at their house.

My grandfather would either be watching tennis on television, going out for a karaoke session with his friends, playing table-tennis, or just heading downstairs to get stuff.

In contrast to that, my grandmother is home-bound. She never wants to get out of the house. Partly due to health reasons as she finds it difficult to walk and maneuver a lot, but I think what holds her back is past hurts that re-enact in her mind, restricting her to take that step out of the four walls.

Much of the conversations that I had with her, which I wouldn't quite agree that they are conversations, was me hearing about her stories of anger and sadness of her younger days. It's not the first time that I was listening to her tapes of negativity. They have been on replay for years.

We have told her to let them go, and move on. Life has much more happiness to offer than she knows. Perhaps she has been hurt a lot before, but isn't it about time to allow herself to be healed? I don't know if she realises it, or plainly refuses to change. Sigh. Even if she's old and change is difficult, everyone STILL has a choice to change for the better. 

What concerned me more was her memory..

On one occasion, she wanted to make me a drink so she asked me if hot water was needed to make it. I said "No", and she nodded in acknowledgement.

But just a while later, she came with the drink that was made with hot water.

She said that I asked for it to be in hot water, but when she realised her mistake she laughed jovially, apologised, and went to make another drink for me.

God, I can see so much love from her and all you are asking from me is to be patient..

One night when I decided to try taking a short stroll to get used to walking again, I invited her to join me, but she shifted the offer to my grandfather instead. I wanted her to experience a change of environment. She has to see the beauty of the world, not by staying confined to what's shown on television, but by experiencing the world herself.


They say it's part and parcel of being old, that people forget things easily.

I just don't want her to forget the great stuff in life and only remember the sorrows.

--------------------------------------------------------

I still remember that day when I packed up and headed back home. On that day, somehow, in a flash, I felt that we were in a hurry to go home and not much time was spent being together. When I say "together", I mean having great conversations, getting to know each other even better. I have never believed that one can totally know someone else. There is always more to know about someone, more to experience with someone. Even during times of awkwardness, there is always a way to melt the ice. The only way to deal with awkwardness is to be comfortable with it and put in an ounce of effort to make things work out. 

In spite of knowing this, was I not bothered enough to at least try even more? How different was this situation from any other?

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As I took a step out of the door, I turned back and I thanked her for everything.


"No, don't need to thank me.. I do all these is because I love you all."


Her eyes were brimming with tears as she replied me with a smile that told so much.


I could sense that she longed for us to stay a little longer, although she knew that she had to let go, in the hope of seeing us two weeks later.

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Time with them is even more limited as age catches up.

The old only get older.

The young?

They seem to only get busier.



http://cdn.indulgy.com/Iz/gw/Bs/67694800618933290MPihCxw4c.jpg

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Is it possible to miss someone if that someone is always on your mind?

I don't know.



Christopher Lye blogged at 9:28 PM

Change your world
to change the world.

Saturday, May 26, 2012



Before It Reaches Zero




 Save a life today.



Christopher Lye blogged at 11:57 AM




War In the Mind




http://ns223506.ovh.net/rozne/e2465ee46e7266122cc71e4cae584dd6/wallpaper-1679292.jpg

War.

No matter how much any country boasts about having the best army, air force, or navy, nobody's really prepared for it. When it happens, people cower with fear in the shadows. Only those who step out, right in the face of the pandemonium, are those that truly deserve respect. For it means that, despite their fears, courage and a sense of duty arises from the depth of their hearts to be responsible for the ones they love and are worth dying for. No soldier would go to a war if he doesn't have anyone or anything to fight for.

---------------------------------------

It just felt so real last night...


We were in enemy territory. Upon intercepting the enemy's communication lines, what we heard was nothing but a message that brought panic among us.

"We found them."

Our position was compromised and we needed to evacuate the area, even if it meant increasing our chances of survival by less than one percent.

I was a few hundred metres away from the main body when a hostile airstrike bombarded the area into bits. Even though they were surreal comrades from my dream, I couldn't help but feel a sense of loss, as I stood disillusioned at this horrific scene.


---------------------------------------

When I awoke earlier this morning, I still felt a tinge of compunction and perturbation in me and that led me to feel unprepared despite all the training that I had gone through in those 2 years.


Nobody wants war to ever happen.


We can only train and hope for the best.

---------------------------------------

I haven't been having much sleep lately. So much on my mind that bothers me. I had been on my bed since 10.30pm last night but insomnia kicked in and the last time I saw the clock was 2am.

Ugh.

Long have I experienced that sense of serenity in my sleep.

So much for "7 hours of uninterrupted rest".


The night before had been a weird one too. Having to wake up smiling so widely just looks so retarded. .__. I dreamt of someone ridiculously asking me to fix a 3 piece French loaf. As it was such a nonsensical request, I smiled so widely that I smiled in reality. It seemed as if I was fantasizing.. Dang.. That made me wake up, by the way.

-----------------------------------------

With all that said, I can only hope that tonight will not be another war in my mind.

-----------------------------------------


On a lighter note, for those who watch the reality series "How I Met Your Mother", I just thought of something, random:


Barney was a good man, until he became Awesome.



http://img818.imageshack.us/img818/9031/wallpaper611214.jpg


Depends on which way you see it. xD



Christopher Lye blogged at 11:37 AM

Change your world
to change the world.

Thursday, May 24, 2012



Let It Out


I was jealous.

I shouldn't have said it.

I screwed up. Again.

There's never anything wrong with just being friends. But it's the unbreakable awkwardness, the lingering hope, the unspoken sadness, the self-doubt, the mark of guilt...that just overwhelms it all.

-------------------------------------------------

Thoughts were not meant to be kept.

Last night's sleep was interrupted badly. A thought of a thought just sparks many more.

I really need to let it out.. Just can't wait to get well again.






Christopher Lye blogged at 2:09 PM

Change your world
to change the world.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012



Cat and Mouse




The wounds you cannot see



take the longest time to heal.



But they will eventually.

Christopher Lye blogged at 10:23 PM

Change your world
to change the world.

Sunday, May 20, 2012



I'm Done With It




Are you this close to other guys too?



Well.. Maybe I was just so naive.



They aren't looking for what you are looking for Chris. They're young and reckless, and they don't know what they want in life. Not yet. And some will never know.



------------------------------------------------------



When will I ever learn?


Oh when will I..





Christopher Lye blogged at 2:20 PM

Change your world
to change the world.

Saturday, May 19, 2012



Who I Am Hates Who I've Been



And so I thought.

-------------------------------------


It happened too fast for me to take it.


I never expected that. I never doubted you.


I never actually knew that you would try for some kind of guy that isn't cool at all.


Now, I just hope he takes good care of you.


------------------------------------


There are some days that I wished that I could bask in endless joy, splurging on glorious laughter..


But there are other days that I wish to just be alone, after knowing what's real and what's not.


-----------------------------------

Here I am,


the fool again.


Christopher Lye blogged at 11:45 PM




Thinking Chair


https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBCh0JW2MXkQJ2q5K0Tgw5rvCKlaxBkHBxnDtllpbgin40-poe3lDT9BQx5Fqq0ntOzfGODoiWGWQ4xRVEIjWxWQwCaR02NJEiNbV40O9wzDVgCG2sGf578Qe1XenBk97DRfA/s1600/the-thingking-chair.JPG


When you are bound to a chair,



you sit and think.





https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRY2d3bCKRXmsoP3KcjgLozL0y42RRz8Mt5di68T8t3-PIHfHX7_S0hWUrjKnIw33L0rLQ_M-R2FY7mYQyqlsgJySYLSMnn07AYALlDdh_a3BEEOuh9Fn0TtvWDGEqOPx0ZcQw/s320/Quemando%252520tu%252520cerebro-135062.jpg



Until your brains are fried. D:



Christopher Lye blogged at 7:58 PM




Strum Those Heartstrings











I wanna sing my heart out.


But I need an acoustic guitar. :/


Christopher Lye blogged at 4:17 PM




Cards


http://dancingorange.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/playing_cards_by_johnlobster.jpg?w=545


"Life is like a deck of cards.

When your life is in a mess,

pick it up again.

Cos that's how you deal with it."


-Christopher Lye

Christopher Lye blogged at 3:51 PM




Brilliance



http://api.ning.com/files/FNWf563He4z9TJJNjU6mNZStwurAfoqwxjv*f*c7vD2OOoYus-j1bUJwDXT9miqhUcC3ki3eYvklYsuClYchBkCDheQcnVa3/Color_Me_Red_by_kaipu.jpg

"Brilliance. It begins when the mind is so clear of a vision that the body is able to wield a drive so strong with discipline as its backbone. "


-Christopher Lye



Christopher Lye blogged at 3:34 PM

Change your world
to change the world.

Friday, May 18, 2012



Refer to Appendix

Surgery http://farm1.staticflickr.com/124/384260243_5f2f09ee15.jpg

http://www.savagechickens.com/images/chickenreal2.jpg
http://davinciballs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/davinci-balls-022-surgeons-buffet.png

http://www.toonpool.com/user/7048/files/plastic_surgery_924485.jpg

Yupp, I guess when I don't heed the quieter signs that God uses to tell me to slow down and rest, He would have to tell it to me some other way. I had my second surgery done on Wednesday.


-------------------------------------------


I could smell traces of blood in the air as I was wheeled into the Operation Theatre. The doctors were talking and discussing why the surgeon, who was supposed to operate on me, hadn't arrived yet. They said that the surgeon's phone was engaged and he was uncontactable. And poor me, I was still conscious and hearing all that. D:


WELL..


Thank God for one doc who reassured me that I was in good hands. :)


It took around 1.5hours for my appendix to be removed. For a moment, I awoke in a blur to the sound of the heart-rate monitor and I was restless. I recall asking "Was the surgery successful?" and getting a reply of "Yes, the surgery was a success." I went back to unconsciousness immediately after that. The next thing I knew, I was already lying down on my bed in my ward. I couldn't open my eyes or move my body even though I heard familiar voices all over. Only after a while did I realise that my sister and her bf, my other sisters, father, grandfather were all there (if I remembered correctly).

------------------------------------------

I'd just like to thank all my family members and friends for showing concern in one way or another these days. I'd like to thank all my friends who have wished me well and prayed for me either by text, Tweets, or FB. :)


And for calling to check on me daily too. :D


Thanks to Rich for dropping by during his break, Zhenwei for spending part of his day-off to visit me (though I missed his 21st bday celebration), and Shiwei and Estella for going all the way to TTSH but not knowing that I was discharged and still going to my grandparents' place to see me (and the chocolates too). :D


And of course, my dad for burning 2 days of leave to spend the first 2 days in the hospital with me, and my mum for taking the next day's shift. They literally have been by my side all day and all night long. And I really appreciate them for that. Last but not least, I have only the good Lord to thank for a really smooth surgery! :D


One of my classmates wished "May you have a speedy recovery (when I say speedy, I don't mean for you to RUN for it)" Haha!


I'll be running soon.


But for now..



When God says rest, I shall rest. :)


Christopher Lye blogged at 11:54 PM

Change your world
to change the world.

Sunday, May 06, 2012



Drawn







Maybe.

Someday, somehow. :)

Christopher Lye blogged at 11:57 AM

Change your world
to change the world.


Me

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i am, christopher lye
21 on 15 March 2012






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