Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Space
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Just within this week, I met up with two of my friends and they both shared what has been happening in their lives with me. I just thought that I could write down what I thought about the whole issue of 'space'.
Sometimes, when conversations get over-heated, you'll need some space, some silence. Not awkward silence, but comfortable silence. How comfortable are you with silence? How would you see silence as? Would you see it as something's wrong in a friendship or a relationship? Or would you have the mutual understanding with the other party, that everything is still alright, even though you both do not talk that much? Silence is golden, as the saying goes. Well but I'd like to clarify that complete silence is a really unhealthy thing, because there are so many things that can be talked about and to talk about absolutely nothing, shows that there's no effort being put into the conversation! How can there be greater understanding, without communication?
These days, we would usually find ourselves in the situation in which we get caught up with the rat race, and everything comes to you so quickly, so much so that you begin to unconsciously want to be kept busy, with things to do, and things to talk about. There is hardly any time for you to stop, and reflect. There is hardly any time for you, yourself, to enjoy silence. The worry and the problem here is that we carry these expectations, of keeping ourselves busy with things to do and talk about, along with us to how we relate to others. By doing so, we have actually disallowed ourselves from having the space for us to grow, and we might impede the growth of the friendship or relationship too. Why? That's because we expect. We expect other people to be who we WANT them to be. Try squeezing an orange into a plastic bottle, or rearing a lion in a school bag. That is what we are doing. We are not giving them enough space to grow, and we are not appreciating them for who they really are. Thus, one reason for friendships or relationships (especially) to break down could very well be, because of this.
When a farmer plants a seed, he waters it, gives it nutrients, ensures that it has all the air it needs to breathe, and sunlight to absorb, by first of all giving the plant space to grow. A friendship or a relationship is like a seed. You become the farmer. You decide how you should plant your seed according to what you know about it- your values. Any farmer, or anyone for the matter, would know so well that it takes time for a plant to grow, and time, is space as well. Oh, some may say that there are other means of growing a plant in this day and age, means like plant cloning to get GMO's so that they would be faster. But then again, these methods, are ARTIFICIAL. We wouldn't want artificial relationships in our lives by hasting up processes.
Then what about communication itself? It will be watering the seed that you have planted. It is just as essential as to give the seed time to grow. :)
Space, would require one to take things slow most of the time. But it doesn't equate to taking things for granted.
This post may not be totally right, nor totally wrong.
It's just a sharing of what I-Think. :)
to change the world.
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i am, christopher lye
21 on 15 March 2012
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