Saturday, April 23, 2011
To Love and Be Loved
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I really pity most of the girls these days. I just don't get why they can end themselves in a relationship with guys that don't treasure them for who they are. Can't they just open their minds to open their eyes before they open their hearts? Can't they choose someone better? (I'm not referring to myself, by the way.)
There's a desperate need for emotional security and appreciation of who they are. And that's perfectly normal. However they have sought for these 'pearls' in the wrong places or from the wrong people. Most girls always make their decisions by their feelings, which makes them passionate and even more sensitive to and aware of situations, especially with regard to the affairs of the heart. These feelings are distinct and instinct to a female which guides them in their course of action.
Yet again, feelings come, and feelings go. There is no one feeling that remains forever in a person. Everyone feels something at some point in time. But at each moment, they feel something unique. How could it be possible for someone to make a right decision if feelings always change? Is it too hasty a decision to get into a relationship when feelings are aroused?
Love is patient.
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Most of the guys these days disappoint me. They do not bring forth the right image a guy is to portray. The way they treat girls isn't the way they are supposed to treat girls. There is a difference between a commodity, and a human being. There is a contrast between taking, and giving. Quite a number of guys do not understand the essence of giving, which involves sacrifice. They have to die to themselves and their selfish deisres if they want to love.
Most of their definitions of love are lacking in responsibility. And being responsible, particularly in the aspect of upholding the dignity of their female counterparts, requires chastity. Many think that it is alright to play and have 'fun' with other girls before settling down to the one they would love eventually. To make things complicated, some girls want to play too. There isn't any regard for the one they claim they would love in the future. For them, it is only right here and right now. If they love their future wife so deeply and sincerely, they would save themselves only for the girl.
Guys yearn for sex. But almost any guy who has just read the previous sentence still does not fully understand his own yearning. Sex and love were never meant to be 2 different entities. Sex was meant to be a beautiful part of love. When a guy has sex with a girl, he is sharing the most intimate part of him with her in the union. Through how God has created the male body, we were meant to give, selflessly. People have separated sex and love because they were selfish. They wanted sex, without loving. How would that sound to one, who still has dignity in him or her, that another person wants to use you for what you have and after that you can F.O.? It is when sex is taken out of love that causes one to lust over another. More societal problems like prostitution, abortion, and a moral decadence arise consequentially.
Love is life-giving.
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Many times during the search for love, people are misled by whatever else that claims to be love. Girls may end up offering their bodies just to feel 'loved' and guys may end up using girls to feel 'love' and to feel the sense of accomplishment.
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Know God, Know love."
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Once again, it's good to look back at how He intended love to be.
1 Corinthians 13
1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.
11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
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I really hope that those friends of mine and any other people reading this post, would sincerely seek to find love, and find it in the right places, if they have not. At the same time, I am really grateful for my family, and other friends who have made this world a more sane place to live in by loving others, as how God had intended for us to love.
Well.. Some of my friends have asked me why I am not attached now. Firstly, it's not that I've turned gay during this 1 year in NS!! Haha, no way that's gonna ever happen to me.
I suppose it would be because it isn't the right time now? Since I'm in NS and I can't really commit to a relationship by offering finacial stability and substantial time in particular. And moreover, I guess my love is still imperfect for now.
Am I jealous when I see couples around? Of course I am! But I believe that there's a time and place for everything. And when the time comes for me, I'll be ready and make the move. :)
Hmmm.
I was really interested in a girl before I enlisted..but I guess I took her for granted and things have changed since then. Right now, it's just me and my friends. :) catching up with my guy and girl friends over the weekends and am gonna plan for a primary school class gathering this year! :D
Last but not least, I hope whatever I have written in this post about my experiences and reflections on my life will bring you closer to who, and what you are searching for.
to change the world.
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i am, christopher lye
21 on 15 March 2012
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