Saturday, November 12, 2011
The Blessing
http://sowinglife.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/78324811.jpg?w=506&h=300
How many times have you encountered someone who was mentally unsound? Once? Twice? More than twice? There are those that just blabber words loudly, disregarding everyone around them. Or perhaps, they lack such an awareness to be conscious of their own actions.
But there are those, who target people. And that is when things become a little more, creepy.
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I was on my way back home from my grandmother's 74th birthday celebration and my family and I were waiting for the bus interchange, waiting for the bus to arrive and take us home. Everything went on normally. We boarded the bus, and went up to the second deck. Most of us were seated in the middle seats of the upper deck while my mother and brother went for the front seats. Other people boarded the bus like they would usually do and the bus embarked on its journey.
During the journey back, I was listening to a song with my sister, and complaining a bit to her about why I had to book in so early tomorrow. After a while, I decided to play "Tap tap" on the i-phone with my other sister who sat in front of me. There was nothing peculiar that I had observed as yet until, my sisters who sat in front of me kept turning back and looking behind in my direction. I was puzzled as to why they looked back so I asked them why. And my sister said "Ge, that guy is talking about you. He was talking about a guy in black polo T. And that's YOU..."
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"I didn't know that guy."
"Why on earth was he talking about me?"
"I wasn't talking about him either..."
"Is he alright?"
"Can he just leave me alone?"
"Who is he?"
"Is he possessed?"
"I think he's got a problem."
"This is scary."
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Little did I know that there was more to come.
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The guy was seated just behind my mother and brother. While he continued to babble about me, I was still wondering and asking my sisters about who he was talking to. I was in slight disbelief about what was actually happening at that moment.
I knew he was mentally unsound. He even thought that my sister was my girlfriend. -.-
But the question that resonated so jarringly in my head was:
"Why me?"
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Then came the stop where he was supposed to alight at. And that was when he did something creepier. He walked to my seat (I was sitting on the inside, thankfully), and looked me in the eye.
He said "I tell you, you will understand what is retribution!"
And he walked down the stairs, still staring at me. (no pun intended here but yeah, I saw that from the corner of my eye)
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"WHAT WAS THAT..."
"SO FREAKY!"
"RETRIBUTION???"
"What did I do?"
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The atmosphere in the upper deck fell into fear and bewilderment.
Yes, I admit it. I was scared. My family members and I looked at each other wondering what was going on.
But none of us knew what was going through that guy's mind.
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Maybe he had a bad experience before and he thought that I was someone he knew?
Maybe he was possessed?
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My sister also mentioned that he said things like "Don't think I don't dare to pull you out of your seat."
Strangely, all his comments before my sisters looked back went unheard. I wasn't aware of that guy till then.
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My other sister said that we could alight at this coming stop, as she thought that guy had already alighted the previous stop.
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But she was wrong.
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He alighted the SAME stop as us!
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ARGH!
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Thankfully, he didn't realise that we alighted the same stop as him... Until after walking a distance, he looked back at us!
Guess what happened next?
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HE BEGAN WALKING TOWARD US!
GOODNESS!
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It became so creepy till my younger sister cried as she hugged my mum...
It was SERIOUSLY scary. I tried to laugh it off but his words bugged me and bore me down with fear that I experienced for the very first time in my life.
I was fearful, yet at the same time, angry.
I wanted to beat that guy up into a pulp just to shut him up and leave me alone for good if there were no rules, no law, and no right or wrong in this world.
I had that urge to overcome my fear with anger because I knew that I was so much stronger than him.
Such big words like "Retribution"...
Why will a mentally unsound person target someone?
It was the very first time that I had seen someone in such a state and gotten into such a situation.
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My family and I walked away from him and hastened our steps. After a while, he was no where to be seen.
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As we walked back home, most of us just kept saying that it was so creepy..
I tried to rationalise my fear along the way, and tried to understand why such a thing happened to me.
For a moment, I even thought that I was cursed!
I was overwhelmed.
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I really was scared even though I knew I could take him down with ease.
But what if he caught me unaware?
What if he was armed?
What if he had kerosene with him?
What if he had jealousy in him and wanted to disfigure/torture/injure/kill that someone whom he thought was me?
Looking back at that moment, I was afraid to lose my own life. I was afraid to lose the things that I have.
Perhaps you guys might think that I was thinking too much, but these are possibilities after all.
It is a feeling that cannot be captured in words and I think for anyone, they would feel this way too.
But still, why me?
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As we went back home, my parents called for prayer so we gathered at the table together. Our family prayed for each others' safety, and also for that guy, that he may find peace in our Lord.
My family also prayed for me, that I would have a peace of mind from this freaky incident.
We then had our turns to share our highs and lows of the day.
Then, for some reason, things just started to make sense to me..
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Like what Leonard had said yesterday during Amp about the "Keanu Reeves" moment (a moment of realisation), I experienced one myself.
I began to realise WHY such an incident happened to me in specific.
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I realised that God wanted such a thing to happen to me because of how I would perceive things. And how I perceive things, I would like to humbly say, is a gift from God, and it isn't anything generated from myself.
I believe that God wanted to tell everyone through my experience that the life we live right now is not ours to keep, but ours to give and be of service to others. That whatever we have right at this very moment, may be taken away from us because we do not know what can possibly happen.
In my situation, the guy may one day come up to me and stab me from the back. Or he might disfigure me? Or even cause harm to my loved ones? Who knows?
Our looks, our thoughts, and our entire being belongs to God.
Every day is a gift from Him. Every thing that we have, every one that we love, are gifts. And they are blessings that He so generously gives us in our lives.
But are we ready to lose them all?
Are we attached to things of this world that we find it so hard to let go and offer them up to God?
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Every single thing fell into place then and I felt a peace of mind and heart like never before.
I wasn't fearful anymore.
I knew that I could not live in fear, because I only fear the Lord.
I was no longer afraid of whatever that guy would do if I ever met him on the streets because everything I had is given to me by the God of the Universe.
Just like what was mentioned in Amp, and in my previous blog post:
"What if you woke up one day, and realised that all you have left is what you had thanked God for yesterday?"
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I believe that there was much more to this seemingly accursed event.
Right now, I can only thank God for allowing such a freaky incident to happen to me, to make me realise that all of us are nothing without Him. It isn't an incident to make us feel unworthy of ourselves, but instead, it is one to make us feel so worthy of His love when we put our Faith in Him.
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I wasn't cursed afterall.
It was a blessing. :)
to change the world.
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i am, christopher lye
21 on 15 March 2012
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